List of Ten 

Summary: Troy is a normal sixteen year old boy, except for the fact that he has Tourette syndrome and obsessive compulsive disorder. Diagnosed when he was six, for nearly ten years Troy has struggled with the daily tics, twitches, and intrusive thoughts that his disorders bring, and has had little success in finding relief. The only person who could understand him, his mother who also has Tourette syndrome, left Troy and his dad when he was a child, leaving Troy to fend for himself with many questions and few answers. Despite his love for his father, stepmother, and baby brother, Troy decides enough is enough and creates a bucket list with ten items, the ultimate goal being to commit suicide on the tenth anniversary of his diagnosis. As he begins to check off his list, with goals such as meeting others with Tourette syndrome and getting his first kiss, his newfound friendships and experiences lead him to be unsure if suicide is the only option. 

*Note: List of Ten is an #ownvoices novel. From the Orange County library system website, “The term refers to books about characters from underrepresented /marginalized groups in which the author shares the same identity.” Visit https://libguides.ocls.info/ownvoices to learn more. 

Critical Evaluation: 
In List of Ten, author Halli Gomez explores complex topics, including mental health, suicidal ideation, and abandonment. Despite the focus on these heavy concepts, Gomez keeps the tone of the novel relatively lighthearted and straightforward. This is done through her development of the main character, Troy. The novel also uses dates to title the chapters, creating a sense of anticipation for the reader as the book progresses towards Troy’s chosen date to commit suicide. 

Written in a first person narrative, throughout the story we hear directly from Troy and experience his pain, successes, and downfalls. The reader is able to see directly into the mind of someone struggling with Tourette syndrome and obsessive compulsive disorder. Without this point of view, essential information would be lost. With it, readers can develop the sense of empathy and understanding that Gomez aimed for when writing the novel. Gomez states in her author’s note that she wrote the book to “help others see us. The words in this book are bold and blatant. I don’t sugarcoat anything for a reason” (2021). Troy’s narrative voice, in which his darkest and lightest thoughts are expressed without dramatization, allow her to accomplish this. His authenticity and realistic development drive the novel. Gomez writes him with a witty sense of humor, a great sense of passion, and a motivated personality, though he is motivated by the wrong things. While we only see the other characters through Troy’s point of view, we still experience their growth throughout the novel, though we may not know their complete motivations. 

The end of the novel shows the most realistic portrayal of true character development. Despite deciding not to commit suicide on his diagnosis anniversary and having saught treatment, Troy still thinks when talking to his girlfriend, “I told myself I wouldn’t lie about this anymore, but I prayed she wouldn’t ask if I’d given up the whole suicide idea” (2021, p. 345). At the same time, he smiles when he recognizes he’s thinking about the future. This ending is far more true to life than all of Troy’s problems magically being solved. Though the ending could be considered a bit rushed, it doesn’t remove the reader from the world. 

List of Ten contains excellent character development that is supported by the tone of Troy’s voice and informed by Halli Gomez’s own journey. It’s a worthwhile read for any teenager (or adult) looking for a realistic, honest, and hopeful story. 

Reader’s Annotation: Troy Hayes, a sixteen year old boy with Tourette Syndrome and OCD, creates a ten-itemed bucket list with the aim to commit suicide on the tenth anniversary of his diagnosis. Will he go through with it, or will he learn that life has more than just pain to offer?